Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Saltine Secrets

Do You remember that part of the movie Parenthood when the "perfect" mom who was a fitness fanatic and health food guru had a huge box of chocolate bars hidden in her closet? Well, I am far from perfect, and I am not really a fitness "fanatic" (although some may argue this point with me), and I am far from a health food guru, but I will readily, no proudly, admit I have a "Chocolate" box.

I had some Hershey bars in there left over from our last camping trip and then I had few chocolates from Easter. But I recently acquired more than my fair share of chocolates during Teacher Appreciation Week last week.

After two bags of Ghirardelli mixed chocolates, one bag of Dove chocolates, 3 giant size Hershey bars, 2 huge bags of M&Ms, several single serving M&M's packages, various bite size Snickers and candy bar varieties, and a gigantic box of Fererro Rocher hazelnut chocolate thingy's, I stopped counting...There was just too much to keep track of.

I couldn't get rid of it, but unfortunately it is bathing suit season, so I needed to "hide" some of this stuff... as to be sure that my new suit still stays where it needs to stay. So I put most of the chocolate in a clear tupperware box with a blue lid and hid it behind an industrial size box of Premium Saltine crackers and various other edibles. It's not that I don't remember it's there. In fact it is quite the opposite, I have actually thought about it sitting up there everyday since it made it's home there on Sunday night.

Sometimes, after all the kids have been put to bed and all is quiet, if you listen really closely, you can hear those little chocolates saying "Kellie! We can't breath in here! Come check on us!"

It's a sickness I know. Although If you look at it positively, we could say it's a talent...but I digress.

Some people think resisting such temptations is all about will-power. But I am here to tell you the truth. It's actually more about laziness. I can put all that chocolate up on the shelf and place piles of stuff on top of it because then it takes effort to move things around that cramped little shelf. I would have to pull the crackers out to make room to take the the box down and then open it, and then have to choose something and then I would have to do it all in reverse to put it all back again. This is why I often eat granola bars for breakfast...because pouring cereal takes too many steps.

Back to the box of chocolate...It's hidden and hard to get to but I like to know it's there...Because if you are a woman, or you are married to a woman , or you were raised by a woman, then you know there are times when that box of chocolate could be sitting in a nuclear vault and wrapped in bombs and we would take the time to carefully dismantle it for consumption.

So, the secrets out. I have a hidden box of chocolate.

The good news...I'm willing to share.


Lara said...

I'll be right there!

Anonymous said...

I feel duty bound as a friend to hold you accountable to the sharing of your chocolate. I'll be calling soon, I may even have to drop by to check on you! KHB

Lara said...

I should be happy for you and your chocolate, but actually I'm happy to see that your pantry isn't organized! That your spices arent alphabetically arranged! :)

Lara said...

You haven't posted in almost a week....do we need to do a chocolate consumption intervention?