Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Three-Hour Tour

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny Ship....."
Almost two weeks ago I posted from my Mom's office. A "while the cat's away, the mice will play" sort of post. Well, my mom wasn't just out of the office, she was out of the continental United States. She and my Dad left over two weeks ago for a 14 day cruise of Hawaii and the islands of the South Pacific.

If she had a blog, she would have a tale to tell. Because in 14 days she only got off the boat twice.

You may have heard about that big storm that blew through the Hawaiian islands about two weeks ago. Apparently, it was so bad that the first three days of their cruise they were not allowed to get off the boat. They were finally able to dock around the third day in Hawaii for about 6 hours. Then it was back to sea for a couple days to get to Bora Bora, Christmas Island, Tahiti and a couple of other islands of the South Pacific.

(For some reason when I say the names of these places the Girl from Ipenema play in my head)

Well, after many, many days at sea they were finally able to get off the ship at Bora Bora. Unfortunately, there wasn't a ship-to-land dock. Instead the cruise ship set anchor in the water and a tiny ship "parked" along side the big one was to ferry them to land. As my Mom stepped from the cruise ship a wave came and jolted the smaller craft and she ended up tearing her Achilles tendon in her left foot. She then spent the rest of her vacation stateside (on the ship.)

I was hoping that perhaps the silver lining in this whole story was that the ships doctor was as cute and smart as Dr. Adam Bricker of the Love Boat (he was quite the ladies man you know). But alas, it turns out that he was a middle aged German doctor, with a deep voice, who said things like this: "Everyzing iz going to be lov-e-ly. Zis iz just lov-e-ly." Which highly irritated my worried father, who felt that any other adjective would better describe the situation with his injured wife.

My mom didn't seem to notice whether the doc was cute or not. I guess, when the inside of your leg is shredded, your writhing in pain, and far away from home, you don't take time to assess the cuteness of the ships doctor. Go figure.

I bet you are thinking that there isn't a silver lining in this story...but I assure you there is....

If you have seen the movie Steel Magnolia's as many times as I have this line will sound familiar to you:
Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy
will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.
Well, my Mom's personal tragedy did not interfere with her ability to bring back good presents.
She and my Dad never travel without bringing home loot, and even with all the hardship that came with this trip, they did not disappoint. But I will post about that later....

I did mention yesterday that I wanted to turn this post into a contest of sorts. You see, my mom is not allowed to walk on that leg at all for 4 weeks, and is now sporting a rather beautiful, red, fiberglass cast. When she came home from the ortho doc on Monday she immediately handed a Sharpy to the kids and asked them to sign it. I told her that I didn't want to sign it yet, but I wanted to find some Sworavski crystals and glue them on first. Then I wanted to think of something really funny to write on the cast, cuz anybody can just sign their name, but someone with a sense of humor and a Bedazzler could make that cast a masterpiece.

I thought about writing:
I went to Bora Bora and the only thing I got was this lousy cast.
But, you know, that line is pretty much already used. So that is where you come in:

Think of something funny I could write on her cast. Something clean, of course, but something that could lighten up the fact that she went on a 14 day cruise in paradise and came home with a broken leg.

Saturday, around noon West Coast time, my Mom will vote on her favorite. I will write the winning saying on her cast and put some sparkles on it and take a picture for all to see. To sweeten the pot I will give something away! I don't have anything made at this moment that I can give away, but when you comment you can let me know if you want a ballet skirt for your little ballerina, or an apron for yourself or I will send you a 12 oz package of my favorite coffee . (Shipped after Christmas, of course!) Just let me know when you comment what your winning preference will be.

If you aren't inclined to think of something funny to be immortalized on fiberglass you could just raise her spirits by commenting. Her name is Karen. And pretty much "surfing" the net will be the only two footed activity she will be allowed!

Happy thinking!


Anonymous said...

Kellie,This is too funny. I will add my thoughts even if we we can't print it on my cast
Are you ready?????? Oh S...!!!!!

Lara said...

As they say in veggie tales...AH PEANUT BRITTLE!

Lara said...

Break a leg?

Lara said...

Drama queen? It runs in the family?

Lara said...

Ship Shape?

Lara said...

Grandma Hibble Hobble?

C D said...

"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
~Don Kardong

Maybe not for the cast, but I thought you'd like it ;-)

C D said...

"When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty."
~ Woody Allen

Again, a little wordy for a cast, but thought it was worth passing along :D

C D said...

"Don't wait for your ship to come in... swim out to it."

Maybe instead of swim it should say stretch...?


C D said...

... or step out to it...

Anonymous said...

Ok, here are two of my entries into your exciting contest! :)
1. Went to Bora Bora on a cruise, came back with a tora foota and a bruise.
2. Don't Rock the Boat in Bora Bora Baby!

Lara said...

Bora Bing Bora Boom

Three Fold Cord said...

I just can't think of anything right now-but if I do I will post. The funny thing is if you are anything like me I couldn't wait for everyone to let me know their thoughts I would write what I thought and then keep adding.

Blue Skies said...

Karen's torn her left Achilles tendon
But that didn't stop her from spendin'
On a cruise to the South Pacific
Bora Bora would have been terrific
except that her leg needed mendin'

Anonymous said...

I fought the sea, and the sea won.

This is my new sea leg.

I thought the handicapped parking sticker would come in handy for Christmas shopping.

Sympathy always gets you the last piece of pie.