Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Allergies and the Perils of Being New In Town

I think I am going to have to admit that I have a cold.

I don't usually like to acknowledge sickness. I think this is because when I was growing up, everything from a hangnail to a stomach ache, was called an "allergy". I'm not talking about the kind of allergies people talk about nowadays. Nowadays it seems like people are allergic to everything.

I'm talkin' "get-up,-take-a-shower,-take-an-allergy-pill,-you'll-feel-better,-and get-your-butt-to-school" type of allergies. Unless you had a fever, were throwing up, or had just broken a major bone playing sports, your ailment was always an overcome-able allergy.

As a kid I hated being told that I had alleriges when I felt bad, and yet I find myself doing the same thing to my kids. Moreover, when I start to feel sickness coming on I usually start telling myself it's an allergy because, (don't tell my mom I told you this) sometimes getting up, taking a shower, taking an allergy pill, and moving into the day does actually make you feel better. But not today. Or yesterday. Or the day before. I am ready to concede that it is probably not an allergy.

Mark this on your calendars: my throat is sore enough that I haven't even talked with anyone today, because talking? It hurts.

Actually, I did talk to two people. The Exterminator and a girl friend who called why he was here. The exterminator was giving me a price quote, because guess who has termites? Oh yes! That would be me. So I talked with her for support and comfort. Termites are nasty awful creatures that must be destroyed, no matter the cost.

I think this sore throat, cold-y type, of "allergy" is effecting my taste buds. After my bowl of chicken and rice soup I decided to raid the kids Halloween loot. I took a fun size Baby Ruth (not my favorite), thinking it wouldn't taste very good and I wouldn't want to eat another didn't work. It tasted delicious. Next time I will just go ahead and pull out four Snickers and get it over with. Why do I do this to myself?

And while I am talking about me, can I tell you that yesterday I was feeling very sorry for myself.

Sometimes being the new kid on the block sucks. Yesterday I went to the luncheon thing after bible study and I left feeling weird. Part of it is because I miss my gals from all over the country. I miss being one of those girls that knows everybody at the bible study. I miss being on the "inside". It was hard watching all the girls talk to each other about their lives and things that they all knew about... It was hard to watch them be easy with each other and to talk about each others kids like they were their own. It was hard to see bosom friends interacting with one another. It made me feel sad.

I have those kind of friends too. But most of my friends and their families are far away. Talking with them on the phone is awesome, but I really, really miss the one-on-one face time; the hanging out at luncheons and talking about stuff with them...

Yesterday I felt lonely, but it could've been allergies.

It's amazing how one situation can color your whole look on life. I came home and complained to The Mister that I didn't have any friends. He laughed and gave me a hug and told me, in his sweet and kind way, that I was being ridiculous. That I have a lot of great friends, and not just in Texas and NC, but here as well. Which is, of course, true.

I felt humbled when he went through the list of the amazing Arizona Gals I have here, in addition to the Texas Gals and North Carolina Gals, that have each been a blessing to me. I have no right to feel sorry for myself. But when you feel like you spent a morning back in Junior High, trying so hard to fit in with people who have all been friends for years, it is sometimes hard to see the forest for the trees.

Yesterday was one of those days when my feelings weren't telling me the truth. But trying to remember that a single morning without a buddy didn't deem me friendless was a bit of a struggle. Today I feel better, more like me.

Well, more like me...with allergies.


Megan said...

I know exactly how you feel with the friend thing. I get in that funk every once in awhile. I just came in from out front where a lot of teh neighbors congregate and was telling my husband I just don't feel like I fit in with them. Its so weird how sometimes it feels so easy with people and I feel like I can be myself and other times I feel totally awkward and out of the loop. I guess a good thing is it keeps us humble.

June Cutoff Cash said...

I'll bet you got sick because of your big run. It can do things to your immune system, you know. Maybe it brought those allergies on.

I would love to have lunch with you and know all your things. So you have another North Carolina pal.

Everyone here is 82! You'll find a good friend there soon.

C D said...

I so feel your lonelies. I've been back two 1/2 years and am just now feeling like I have friends. And that I'm making new friends. Who like ice cream like me. And who drink coffee like me. And get sore throats like me (gargled with hot salt water yet?). And sing like me. And craft. And like sugar like me. And who like talking in dark in the van like me.

but enough about me (ha!)

*hugs to you*

meh said...

Hate that feeling...I have had some of that same "allergy" thing too!