A New View

I'm typing at you from a new corner of the Little Yellow House on the Hill.

One of my goals this year was to get the kids transitioned from doing school in my formal dining room to desks in their room.

I really wanted to move the computer out of that room too.

So this weekend I did it.

And the dining room looks like this.

That table has two more leaves, which makes me happy. There is nothing I like more than a crowded table of happy faces.

Speaking of the table...this one was given to us by our amazing neighbor and friend, Helen. It is handmade out of exceedingly hard and heavy wood (I think she said it was Walnut). The craftsmanship is amazing. I need to find some dining room chairs, but I can hodge-podge seating if (and when) I have friend over to break some bread.

As I was reorganizing I realized how much I take for granted in our home.

Although I call our house "the little yellow house on the hill", it is actually good sized (especially for a small family of four). There is more than enough space for our family. And yet, I found myself thinking that I didn't have a "place for this" or  "I need new shelving for that", when the truth is we have PLENTY of space here... I could get rid of some stuff and move other stuff around...making room for the things that needed to be put away.

So that is what I did.

I emptied out both of the linen closets up stairs and got rid of three bags worth of things we didn't use: receiving blankets and cloth diapers, just to name a few. I also gave away those sweet board games my children aren't using anymore. So long CandyLand.

I was able to empty three shelves in the linen closet, making room for school supplies and curriculum.

It felt good to have less and use more.

And it makes me feel every so grateful for this house...A home we have had the privilege to call "home" not once, but twice.

So very thankful.

What are you thankful for today?

Charlie, Ruby and Chomper

This is not a salad.

We have three new (temporary) additions to the family.

Meet Charlie, Ruby and Chomper the Swallowtail caterpillars.

Our newest residents used to live in the garden parsley at the piano teachers house.

Now they live in a glass serving-bowl, lined with plastic wrap, on our kitchen counter.

Apparently, there is the teeniest-tiniest baby, that calls our counter caterpillar condo "home". You can see him in the picture above. He's the speck on the branch that is horizontally persuaded .

We'll see if he "makes it" before he's named.

I don't want to get attached.

We've been told that they will eat us out of "house and home" in parsley. Luckily our neighbor has a huge parsley patch in her garden and has given us unbridled access.

Then they will make themselves a Chrysalis. In a few weeks, if all goes well, we should be releasing butterflies into the great wide world.

Over the weekend, this trio has been wildly entertaining as they mow down their parsley village.

You might ask why I have wrapped my glass bowl in plastic wrap?

Well, unbeknownst to me, caterpillars have an amazing capacity to, uh-hmm, use the facility.

To put it bluntly, they poop. A lot.

Next time I see a small fish tank at a garage sale I am TOTALLY going to scoop it up!

The only down-side of this latest venture is that they really don't smell so good. Which grosses me out. But it's worth it to see how a butterfly is made.

Happy Monday!

Back to School, Again

Oh sweet blogger friends!

I have missed you! But I have soothed my heart with a box of 18 dry-erase markers in the colors of love....aren't they beautiful?!!!

I'm back from what was a long and wonderful vacation in the desert (vacation posts to come.) I was able to see nearly all the people I wanted to visit with....but the good news is that I will be going to the desert again next year, so if I didn't get to see you, we'll be sure it happens next time!

I am still fighting major jetlag, but there is no rest for the weary here in the heart of North Carolina. 

I have a school to run, and the students arrive shortly.

Well, actually, right now they are tucked in bed waiting for their new alarm clocks to wake them up. This year they will learn a little bit about being self-directed and motivated (I hope!). 

I wanted to share with you where I will be spending 85% of my time in the next nine months of my life. This is our school room:

You'll notice that there are three notebooks on the table. The two white ones are what the kids will use to keep organized, and the middle one is what I often refer to as The Brain. It has the next nine weeks worth of lesson plans and notes and references, and schedules, and menus, and everything I need to be as efficient as I can be...if I loose that book, the world will come to an end for sure.

Well, maybe not end, but The Brain is the mastermind of this establishment and without it, school wouldn't happen.

But back to the tour of campus...

This is my desk.

Please note that you can actually see the top. It only took me all summer to get it cleaned off for this photograph. Don't mind the schedule tacked directly under the light switch. I keep meaning to buy another peg board, but I keep forgetting.  Its the one thing that isn't written in The Brain.

I am excited to start this year. Last year was difficult, as I learned to balance life as a mother, wife, homemaker, blogger, friend and teacher.

I've learned that I cannot possibly do it all. So this year I am starting out with this bit of advice for myself, and those of you with a full home (homeschooling or not). Its a quote from the Valley of Vision, from the prayer entitled Family: 

Sanctify and prosper my domestic devotion,

instruction, discipline, example,

that my house may be a nursery for heaven,

At the end of the night, when I lay my head down, it doesn't truly matter what knowledge I have given to those in my care. What matters is that I remember I have been given these beautiful brown-eyed gifts; Children who watch my every move as I go about my day. I have the privilege to use my home as a nursery for heaven, and not just for those who are born of my flesh and blood, but for those who seek a soft place to land in a harsh world.

In the end it will not matter to my children that I was able to cross off all the tasks that fill the lists of my days. Nor will the hours I have spent putting together the schedules, lessons plans, and lists matter. 

What I must remember this year is that my devotion, instruction, discipline and example done in love extends farther than the depths of the young minds of my students.  

Will they learn this year?

Absolutely.

The question is, will I?

Thoughts on Homeschooling

I've only had half a cup of coffee this morning. So I can't be held responsible for the rest of this post. 

I am enjoying this spring break. Sleeping in. Cleaning up. Working out. Blogging. Calling friends. Lunching with friends. Baking. Sewing. Writing. Baking some more...

Today I am going to work on a project. I've been asked to make an apron for a charity auction. 

Cannot wait to get to that sewing room. 

These are all things I would do on a daily basis, BHS (Before Home Schooling). I've missed all those things.

Homeschooling this year has been an amazing ride. But, its also been very difficult. 

Yesterday afternoon, a mom I recently met, came over. She is about to start homeschooling her children next year and wanted to look over some of my curriculum. 

I prayed before she came. 

Lord, help me to sound positive.

The truth is, I have enjoyed homeschooling, and it has been the hardest thing I have done in my life thus far...and let me tell you, I have done some hard things. 

My students are amazing. They desire to learn. They are willing. They don't complain (too often). They don't have special learning issues that I have to work around or behavioral problems to deal with...For all intents and purposes, when it comes to homeschooling, I've got it easy.

The problem is the teacher. 

She wasn't prepared.

I wasn't prepared to handle all the spiritual and emotional lessons that God would dole out this year.

I wasn't aware that in the process of educating my children, the student would be me.

So when I sat down at my kitchen table with this mom, I wanted to be positive. Keep it simple, I kept telling myself.

But my self wouldn't listen.

I wanted to tell her all the good things. I wanted to be sweetness and light. I didn't want the deep-thinking, deep processing, wordy Kellie, to come out. 

I wanted all these things because homeschooling is amazing. It is exactly what my kids need in this time in their lives. It is a ministry. At times a joy, at times a burden. 

Its a lot of work. 

Work that I daily have to pray about. Homeschooling is a work that is refining me. Pruning me. Growing me up, in my heart and my soul. 

It isn't easy, but I'm eternally grateful. 

We'll do it again next year, because I know it is right where we need to be. 

Still, I wanted to grab her hands, look her straight in her (very beautiful!) eyes, and tell her that she was sitting at the wrong table. I wanted to encourage her to talk to someone who actually knows what she is doing. To seek advice from a homeschooling mom who has got this thing all figured out, and does it gracefully.

Although, in truth, I'm not sure that mom exists. 

I am praying that I didn't discourage the sweet gal who sat in my kitchen. I wanted to sound positive, because I am positive homeschooling is an amazing way to educate your family. 

So positive that we may be in this for the long haul, but personally, this has been a tough year. 

Sometimes I wish I was good at sugar coating, but it just isn't me.

I'm in the process of writing all the things I have learned this year (through homeschooling) and hope to post my thoughts from time to time. 

Speaking of posts....on Friday I will be posting my first installment of CoffeeGal: Calling Back

You can click the link above if you don't remember what that is. I am hoping to post every other Friday...I just don't think I can do once a week, I am about to start a busy season of travel! Yay!

All right, this post looks nothing like I thought it would, and its ended rather abruptly. However,  I have had a second cup of coffee and I am ready to start my day! Hopefully there will be apron pictures soon!

What I Have Learned This Week: Pride and Pruning

For those of you that are new here, this summer I had the privilege of meeting Constance (of FindingBalance) and Travis, co-founders of True Campaign. A ministry that is dear to my heart. A ministry I hope to be more active in when God says the time is right...

Constance emailed me last week to check in and I was finally able to acknowledge, and put into words, exactly what has been swirling in my heart for the last seven months. 

The short story is that I have finally come to peace about the humble ministry to which I have been called. 

For the longer version, here is part of the email I wrote to Constance...it's what I've learned this week:

I have been praying for awhile about what ministry God was leading me to. He has blessed me with many talents: I can (and have) lead small groups, taught bible studies, mentored in areas that I have experience, and led worship.  I loved all of it. However, they are all gifts that bring attention to myself. Most of them all have to do with performing (in one way or the other)...and stroking my ego just a bit. I was approaching them with the idea of helping others, but also with the kickback of "being noticed" in mind.

 

So you can imagine my surprise, when after praying for many, many weeks about my role in ministry, I was surprised that His answer was consistently-- "Your family."  

 

I really think that the Lord is using this time to burn away the chaff.  To break the pride that motivates me to use the gifts he has given to promote myself. 

 

He had to intervene, and teach me how to get out of the way of myself. 

 

There has been nothing more humbling for me than homeschooling (probably because there wasn't anyone more judgmental in the past about home-schoolers than I was!) 

 

There isn't anyone around telling me what a great teacher I am. No one to stroke my ego and let me know I am doing a good job. I am daily having to lay down my wants and desires to serve my family.  My time is not my own, I cannot go to the gym everyday, nor have lunch with girlfriends whenever I want. My days are no longer solely in my control!

 

On top of that, I am an extrovert with deep insecurities. I have hidden those insecurities with a people-pleaser- I- can-do- it -all- attitude for so long, I didn't realize how it controlled me. I am always so afraid of what people think of me, that I let it rule my days.  I find myself battling my own presuppositions regarding home-schoolers, not many of which are true.  But I digress...

 

The most difficult part was God was telling me to "wait". Not just for your ministry, but even the Women's MInistry that I led here four years ago.  He has put the reigns on me like never before, and its hard. But its good.

 

I am learning that I depend far too much on my God-given talents than I do on God. I depend on the kudos and praises of  "man" instead of the love of God. I am learning that the bright lights of center stage aren't as rewarding as the humble position of being the doorkeeper...but I haven't learned that the easy way....I am stubborn, and my ego and flesh have been well fed for many, many years...

 

I should have contacted you sooner. But i just kept hoping God would let me know that I had learned what I needed to learn, and give me the thumbs-up to tell you that I could jump in with both feet. 

I was so CERTAIN it was the right time, because God had so finely tuned our meeting, and the meeting with Travis, and the eight weeks of writing the True Campaign stuff on the blog....and the response and conversation that all those things had sparked (and continues to spark) with people on the net and in real life. I just knew my day had come! 

 

And it has...it just looks a lot different than I thought it would. 

As difficult as yielding myself to the Lord has been, I am finally feeling peace about where God has me.

Learning this lesson still has a bit of a sting to it. Dealing with pride is never painless...but the fruits of pruning are beginning to feel worth it...

I know that there will be a day when I can be more active in FindingBalance and the True Campaign. I look forward to that day. Until then, I am content.

To see what other bloggers have learned head on over to Musings of a Housewife.

Carnival: What I've Learned This Week

I am going to participate in Jo-Lynne's (of Musings of a Housewife) carnival this week.

If you haven't heard about it, its not too late to join.

So what have I learned this week?

I have learned that there are many places in which I live my life through insecurity.

Deep huh? 

Well, it is deep. Almost deep enough that I am not sure I can write about it without typing on forever. But I am going to give it a try.

In fifth grade I was in Mr. Pollard's class. 

He didn't like me.

At all.

At this point in my young life as a  student I had already decided I was terrible in math.

I just didn't get it. 

In fifth-grade I had an experience that would start a life-long issue that I am going to spend this year purposefully battling.

In fifth grade Mr. Pollard called me to the board and made me stand there for a very long time, while he belittled me for not knowing what 8x7 was. 

After standing there being yelled at in front of my peers, and not being able to think, much less write 56 on the board, he proceeded to tell me that I had wasted his time, and the entire fifth grade class time. Now, he would waste  my time; I would spend both recess and lunch writing 8 x 7 = 56 on a piece of paper over and over again. 

I do believe that that day, at the age of 10 I decided I would never again waste anybody's time with my incompetence in math. I managed to get through enough math to pass high school and college. How I did it, I do not know.

Currently I am homeschooling a 5th grade boy who is in the trenches with long division. He's getting it, and doing well. But my attitude toward teaching math has been less than desirable. I get irritated (and irritable) because it takes me almost as much time as it takes him to do the math. I have had to break down problems with a pencil and a paper more often than he does. I have had to say, "Sorry Boy, I did that problem wrong. Your answer is correct" so  many times it's embarrassing.

You are probably wondering what this has to do with what I have learned, so I will just get to it: I have learned that I been teaching from an attitude of pride and insecurity, rather than teaching from a willing spirit.

I have learned that this attitude toward math doesn't just happen during the school hours either. 

I have avoided doing math (without a calculator) in almost every aspect of my life: from eating out with friends at lunch (I make them figure out how to split the bill), to coupon-ing (if it's too complicated I won't sit down and figure it out), to buying a home or car (I make The Mister handle all financial stuff)...I have avoided doing math that I could not do quickly. And I cannot do most math quickly.

I have compensated for a weakness by avoiding the problem instead of facing it; I have been allowing my insecurity to lead my life in this area, which makes me feel like a poser and only leads to more insecurity.

I am amazed at how I have limited myself because I have carried a lie deep within me that has hindered me for over 30 years: That I am not good at math.

The TRUTH is that I have never tried to be good at math. I'd given up long ago.

So what have I learned this week?

I have learned that it will take the power of God to get me over my Math Issues. 

I have learned that its OK to relearn math with your fifth grade son. 

As a matter of fact, its better this way. He is an amazing study partner. 

That is what I learned...

Worry

Over the course of the last 14 weeks, homeschooling has felt like we have a newborn in our home.

Suddenly, I have a tight schedule to keep and I am no longer shopping alone. But the hardest thing for me to handle is the mess. The toys that are all over. The dishes of three meals at home. The papers that used to come home in the afternoon backpack are now all over my desk. 

There is never a moment when my entire house is clean, all at the same time.

And it's driving me crazy. 

This was especially true the week before Thanksgiving, when my inability to keep order turned me into a shrew.

Then, during our Thanksgiving break, as if Mrs. Moofish knew that I needed a reality check, she sent me a copy of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joann Weaver.

And let me tell you I NEEDED to read this book. 

In the third chapter there is an assignment to re-write Matthew 6: 25-34 according to what your worry is at the moment, and then write a prayer. (If  you're not familiar with this verse, go check it out at the link above.)

I thought I would share mine and then encourage you to do the same if there is something you are worried about today. 

~~~~

Therefore I tell you,do not worry about a clean house, what people will say when they see laundry on your couch; 

or how many dog hairs you see gathered on the floor.

Are not the people in your life more important 

than assuaging your high need for order?

Look at the birds of your nest. 

They flitter from here to there and squawk and sing; 

making great messes and yet, the Heavenly Father loves them.

There is nothing more valuable than they.

Can you make your home cleaner by being a grouch?

And why do you worry about what others may think?

Do you see the trees in your yard?

They drop their leaves when the weather turns cold, and yet nobody comes by to pick them up. Yet I tell you, in the spring the green leaves will come and 

by summer there will be no sign of the fall.

If the God of all order can use the mess of the autumn to bring the fullness of spring, 

can He not bring order into your heart?

O you who sets her sights (and heart) on things that bring false security.

So, do not worry, saying "My life is out of control!" or 

"When will I have time to do the laundry?!" or

"What if someone comes over and the floors have not been swept?!"

For people who don't understand that God is in control worry over dust and dirt;

and He understands the importance and practicality of a clean house.

But, God is saying to you, 

"Seek My house first. Seek Me and all these thing will find their place.

Delegate and don't worry about the dishes being put in the wrong cupboard.

Assign jobs and don't worry about the whites being turned pink.

 

Tackle a load of laundry today, and don't worry about tomorrow."

For each day has enough laundry of it's own.

~~~~~~~

Lord, I pray you will order my day. And that I would not resist you. 

I know nothing good comes from chasing order for the sake of order, 

at the cost of a kind and gentle disposition. 

Help me to seek You first, 

and allow all other things to be an outflow of your awesome love for me 

and those around me.

Amen.

On Homeschooling and What I Am Learning

I've had a couple of people ask in the last few weeks about our homeschooling adventure, so I thought I would give you a peek into our day.

We have a basic schedule that we work our day around. 

The kids get their breakfast, morning chores, and independent school work done from 7:00-9:00 am. School starts formally (with me playing teacher) at 9:00. Or so. It all depends on the coffee maker, because at this point in our day I have been up for awhile, and need fresh coffee!

From 9:00 - 12:30 we do Bible, American History & Geography, Language Arts, Math and Science.  After lunch the kids work on special projects. Last week they did reports on animals, so they worked on that in the afternoons. Three times a week we also do short studies of Art/Poetry/Music.  

 The kids are usually finished with the daily work between 1:oo and 2:00. I spend the next hour or two grading papers from the day and getting things prepared for the next day. It's a lot of work, but it's doable.

I am enjoying the process and application that is homeschooling. I love getting to watch the kids learn, and learning more myself. In many ways I wish that I could have learned in a literature based curriculum because history comes to life through the power of story. 

All in all, homeschooling is a very positive thing.  I know it is right for both the kids and our family at this time in our lives. I like knowing what the kids are learning. 

But, I would be lying if I didn't mention that I am also grieving things in life that came with having children in more traditional schooling. I am used to seeing and talking to family/friends every day, in some form or another. Whether having lunch a couple times a week with friends or my mom and dad, hanging out at the gym, volunteering at the school or talking on the phone, my days were filled with relationship.

Making sure that we are home for most of the day to complete school is a bit isolating.  I can't visit with friends and teach third and fifth grade math at the same time! Although, just between you and me, I have tried... It just doesn't work.

The bottom line is that my time is no longer my own, and I am learning to cope with that. I have lessons to go over, and papers to grade and books to pre-read. It leaves precious little time to write, to sew, to hang out for hours doing my own thing! It's a full time job without the benefit of pay, or water-cooler chats with co-workers, or someone to tell you how you're doing. 

I have found that I am relearning the lesson that all parents learn when the honeymoon of parenting has long gone and the long nights of bleary-eyed feedings have ceased to be new: I am learning the lesson of selflessness. I am learning that in Christ I can do all things, and that I am never alone, although I sometimes feel lonely.

Now, before you feel sad for me, I am someone who doesn't stay lonely for long. I have good friends here in our new (old) home. I joined the local home school association last week, and before October is over we will have gone to three different field trips. I have joined our ladies bible study, and soon the kids will be in sports again. Soon I will have more than my plate can hold. 

I am learning more than head knowledge. I am learning more about myself; learning where I am weak and need God's encouragement; learning where I have strengths I never knew I had. 

I think God puts me in these types of situations a lot. He knows that I invest a lot of energy in putting my trust in "man". He knows that I often fill up and get energized by spending time with people; That sometimes I turn to people to fill me up, instead of turning to God.

This last week God reminded me that we may fail others or they may fail us, but God will never leave us(Deuteronomy 31:6). He is our friend (John 15:15). Our comforter (2 Cor. 1:3). He is our great Teacher (John 3:2). 

I am uncertain if I what I am feeling right now is Arizona-homesickness, or feeling isolation in a new place in life. I think it's a bit of both. 

So schooling at home is good. Great, even! I can't imagine not doing it right now, but there is a learning curve and it's much, much bigger than reading, writing and arithmetic.

It's pictures like these that help me remember why I do it at all....

The Girl in our schoolroom, studying spelling over a morning cup of hot chocolate.
The Boy enjoying a book about Squanto and the Pilgrims. 

Kona the Wondermutt: Learning at the School of Hard Knocks. School has not interfered with her social life. This morning she rolled in poop while visiting her neighborhood canine friends (we live in a very dog friendly neighborhood, where our dogs are free to visit each other). 

She is learning that when you play, you pay. She is learning what it's like to be an outside dog, until I can give her a bath this afternoon.

This wraps up our school adventure!  Aren't you sorry you asked?

;)

La Vida Dulce!

  

This...and That

I feel completely behind in my blog reading.  

If I haven't commented on your blogs, but you know I have been there, please don't take it personally!  I have your blogs saved in my reader and plan to spend a couple hours this weekend to "visit". 

Among our preparation to move across the country, the school situation has changed for The Boy and The Girl, and last week I started them in a homeschooling program. 

Uh, meaning that I am now a homeschooling mom. 

I never, in a million years, thought I would be doing this.  As a matter of fact 6 years ago when we started in this whole School Aged Children stage, I said, "I will never home school.... I am just too "social" for home school...Homeschooling is a lifestyle"...blah, blah, blah.

Well, sometimes (more often than not for me) we find ourselves doing things we thought we would never do. 

And here I am.

To make a very long and stressful story short and sweet, we were unable to get the kids into the same school they attended last time we lived in NC. The other choices we had were either not ones we could live with, or weren't accepting new students, so homeschooling became our answer for this year. In the spring we will re-evaluate and see what the next year will bring.

After much research and reading (and prayer!) I found a literature based curriculum called Sonlight, and after two weeks of schooling we are all enjoying it. We are studying American History and looking forward to living in a state where so much of our early history took place (or is very close!).

To keep in compliance with NC laws I pulled the kids out of school here in the desert so that I could get an early start to the homeschool year. This not only lends extra time with extended family here, but will give us some breathing room as we make our way across the country in the days to come. 

So, this is the reason why I have been a bit quiet on the blogging front.  I am busy teaching The Boy and The Girl all about Native Americans and Christopher Columbus and reading about Pocahontas and remembering what a predicate is...

Fractions anyone? Oy!

I do want to take a second to tell you a few things that I am so excited about:

First, I'm a button!!!!

Jo-Lynne whipped up this adorable little button for me so that you can have have a little piece of La Vida Dulce of your very own.

Just what you have always wanted, huh?

Second, I'm international!!!

I was so excited when JanMary made not one, but two comments this week!  Hi JanMary!  As a matter of fact, it's her birthday. Click on over and wish her a good one won't ya?

OK, I should run. We have "P.E." today at Grannie and Paws swimming pool this afternoon. I am secretly hoping that they will also be serving lunch today. 

La Vida Dulce!