Being a Woman

This weekend The Girl and I continued our conversation about what it is to be a woman.

We talked about fashion and modesty. We talked about how we can be fashion forward, attractive  and yet not reveal too much of the wonder (and power) of the female body.

I took her to a really fun vintage boutique that was awesome... it was chock-full of polyester. I had memory after of memory flood through my mind. After all, I am a child of the 70's.

We identified fashion of the past that was very modest...

And one that was less...

We liked the colors...

We liked the glitz...

We laughed.

It was fun.

But, I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you the Truth that fell in my lap...

As I taught my young daughter, the student was me.

Our first stop of the day was to the art museum with an agenda (look for art with women as the subject) and a few questions in mind:

1.) What does this say about feminine beauty? 

2.) Is this a healthy view of women. 

3.) If you are able to see art from different cultures, how does this society portray women differently from the way ours does today?

We had several different pieces that were great for discussion, but one photograph in particular,
Comilo Jose Vergara's, Girls, Barbies, Harlem, 1970, got my attention.

The picture of African-American girls sitting on the door-steps of  a Harlem neighborhood, their white Barbies lined up in a row. It haunted me all weekend.

No one escapes. I thought to myself. No time. No culture.

Not one wonderful, beautiful, uniquely-made girl escapes this "ideal", if she isn't careful.

Here we are, forty years later, and that tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, big-busted, small-waisted, have-it-all standard still rules the world.

And no one, not the young black girl in Harlem, not the Latina girl who writes this blog (or any women who reads this post), nor our sweet little girls playing dress up in the vintage boutiques can ever measure up when our measuring stick isn't real. 

It doesn't matter if we are poor, rich, black, white, or all colors in between, we are not immune.

So we must equip ourselves, our daughters, our nieces, our friends, to love that which makes us unique.  Our lovely brown hair, our big blue eyes, the curve of our hips, the shape of our nose... the wrinkles, the gray hair, the stretch marks on our bellies.

We must equip ourselves. Recognize the lies of media and worldly "standard." Must remind ourselves that we will never achieve what they say we can have. To think, and to realize that we really don't want it.

Here is the Truth I want to live and to learn: instead of fighting the air and losing heart, we can choose to love the unique way God created us, that special way he sets us apart from all those plastic dolls standing in a row. Once we recognize it as a gift, instead of a flaw, we are free to move about our lives outwardly focused, not inwardly stuck...

This weekend we talked, The Girl and I, about what it is to be a woman.

I'm still learning too.

Long Way Home

There is nothing new under the sun.

Recently I read a book titled Stepping Heavenward: One Women's Journey to Godliness by Elizabeth Prentiss.

Originally written in the late 1800's, this fictional account of a young girl named Kate, is profoundly applicable for women today.

Its written in diary format, but is full of amazing wisdom and grace. So much so that I have marked my copy with pencil, and dog-eared the pages, to near ruin.

Truth be told, I've read this book at least four times over the course of 12 years. Each time gleaning new thoughts and understanding.

I wanted to share a little something I picked up this time around...

(In this scene Kate, now in her mid 20's and a longtime wife and mother, has brought her own mother to cheer up Miss Clifford, an affluent and ailing neighbor who has not ever known God. In an effort to help her  be less self-focused, Kate's mother is teaching Miss Clifford how to sew.)

Mother showed her how to hold her needle and arrange her pattern...

"Make the object of your life right," I heard Mother say at last, "and all these little details will take care of themselves."

"But I haven't any object," Miss Clifford objected, "unless it is to get through these tedious days somehow. Before I was taken ill, my chief object was to make myself attractive to the people I met. And the easiest way to do that was to dress becomingly and make myself look as well as I could."

"I suppose," said Mother, " that most girls could say the same. They have an instinctive desire to please, and they take what they conceive to be the shortest and easiest road to that end. It requires no talent, no education, no thought to dress tastefully; the most empty-hearted, frivolous young person can do it, provided she has the money enough. Those who can't get the money make up for it by a fearful expenditure of precious time. They plan, they cut, the fit, they rip, they trim till they can appear in society looking exactly like everybody else. They think of nothing, talk of nothing but how this shall be fashioned and that be trimmed.

"But I never cut and trimmed," said Miss Clifford.

"No, because you could afford to have it done for you. But you acknowledge that you spent a great deal of time in dressing because you thought that the easiest way of making yourself attractive. But it does not always follow that the easiest way is the best way, and sometimes the longest way round is the shortest way home."

This excerpt stings a bit for me...in a good way.

It encourages difficult questions of myself:

In what ways do I assume to take the shortest and easiest way, even when that way is not true?

In what ways do I allow culture to define who I am?

How do I allow fear to drive me to wasteful thinking? wasteful action? wasteful spending?

What is my chief focus?

It feels good to process these things. Its also refreshing to know that although the course of 150 years says we are struggling with the same issues, we can be victorious, because the Truth stands higher, deeper, wider, ...and is available for all who will take the long way home.

So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed 

and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, 

let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, 

without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, 

or trying to be something we aren't.

Romans 12: 5-6

(MSG)

* For those who would like more information on True Campaign click here.

Bloggy Business

I'm trying to set my new computer up so that I can blog from anywhere...my office, the deck, or poolside.

Don't let that last one fool you. My life is not glamourous. Its just that swimming season started this week and I know I will be by the pool. A lot.

This post will be my first official post with my new BlogPress app. Which means I can draft to the blog without copy/pasting from the notepad, which proved to be very difficult in the last two posts.

While we are talking of boring topics such as my typing skills, or lack thereof, let's also talk about blog readers - the ones that help organize the blogs you read such a Google Reader or Bloglines, not you the actual reader.

I had recently been convinced to switch my blog settings so that if you read posts in a reader, or on Facebook (hello Facebook friends!) you wouldn't have to click over to read the full post; you could just read it in its entirety right on your reader.

Although I was skeptical, I tried it for two weeks.

If you were happy about my switch, I have bad news, I'm switching back.

I'm doing this for two reasons, one is that I have a Sitemeter that tells me who is visiting, and second, I like to "hear" from those who read (in the comments section.)

I was hesitant to switch because what I had predicted would happen, happened: my visitors and comments went down exponentially.

When readers read from feed-readers (say that ten times fast) I don't get a record of who is really visiting my blog. If you talk to bloggers they will tell you that the numbers aren't important, but lets be honest, bloggers write so people will read.

I don't put faith in numbers, but when the comments are low, it helps to know people still visited.

Do I hear an amen?

I will confess that if you have a blog that can be fully read in the reader, I am less apt to click over to your site, and consequently les apt to comment. Or sometimes it's because I get sidetracked by a bright shiny object. However if I am forced to go to your site to read the full post, I'm probably going to comment, since I am already there.

On a side note, and since we are talking about commenting, it's not that I don't want to comment on your blog, it's just that sometimes, if I don't feel that my comment will add anything of value, or if your are reviewing a product, I probably won't leave a comment.

Not that I mind if you review products, its just that you can find a blogger reviewing product under every URL, so its hard to come up with something original to put in the comment box. I'm just sayin'.

On to the next thing on the agenda....

You may be asking yourself why I don't advertise, or do product reviews? (I have an email box full of companies that want to send me everything from jewelry to luggage to review on my blog)

It's actually a matter of personal conviction. I don't often do reviews, or have advertisements in my side bar, or solicit sponsors. I have always chosen to keep my blog free of these kinds of things.

I can see the value of blogger product reviews (not to mention the great swag that I could gain), but I have always kept an arms distance because when I have opportunities to write to about things that are important to me and to ministry, for example TrueCampaign, you know that I am sharing my heart.

These opportunities may never come (again), and I'm OK with that, I would rather have a very few opportunities when I my voice can be distinct, than to speak in a time when I have to shout to be heard.

On the flip side, you may not care one iota why I don't review, blah, blah, blah...but now you know.

In the meantime, I blog because I enjoy it, and I've met some amazing people along the way.

So that is the bloggy business. Meeting adjourned.

But before you go, tell me: do your prefer reading blogs in the reader, or going to the blog? What makes you comment more? What makes you want to run screaming, taking your comments with you?

I know this post may have hit below the bloggy belt, and you might unsubscribe. Before you do, at least say goodbye!

Happy weekend!

Living His Dream: (The "Comment" That Turned Into A Post!)

Last week I accidently hijacked Whimzie (of Snoodling's ) comment section on her post entitled: Who Were You Born To Be?

Instead of being irritated at my post in her comments section, she has posted it for your viewing pleasure...

Click here to read it.

Happy Weekend!

PS: For my quiet readers who found this blog through True Campaign and Finding Balance , the comment I wrote in response to Whimzie's post has everything to do with my search for significance in this world...and I hope it encourages you to seek your significance in Truth!

Cake Reality...Just So You Know

It wasn't a three-layer like I wanted, and the fondant was weird: dry, and yet sticky.

Oh, and also, in an attempt to be "all cakes for all people," I had made a tier of vanilla, a tier of chocolate, and a tier of chocolate-vanilla swirl.


I hadn't even thought of how hard it would be to keep chocolate-brown crumbs out of snow white frosting and fondant.

There was 30 minutes of time when I seriously debated scrapping it all to the garbage can and going to Costco for a cake.

I didn't, but I wanted to...

Anyway, the bottom layer of cake was all wonky (it had cracked a bit when I pulled it out of the pan), and it couldn't hold the weight of the top two tiers. It was slowly leaning more and more to the left as gravity played its hand.

There was a moment when I looked at that crazy, imperfect, sinking ship of a cake, and said to The Mister, "None of my ideas ever work out the way I want them to."

He set his eyes on me with a look I couldn't read.

I wasn't sure if he was going to laugh, or send me to my room.

Calmly he said, "That is the most ridiculous thing that has ever come out of your mouth."

I sat with my arms crossed and my mind in the pit.

He sat with me.

Our eyes both intently focused on that lopsided, fondant covered, heavily weighted, "failure" of a cake.

He said, "You know the top two layers aren't bad, don't scrap the whole thing, see what you can do with those."

And he left.

Of course, in my head I had all sorts of excuses as to why it would be impossible.

It would never work.

What does he know about cakes?

What do I know about cakes?


Why did you think you were able to do any of this?


Then the real punch in the gut. The Girl walked through the kitchen and said,

"Mom, it doesn't have to be perfect."

Ugh.

Yes it does. She's right, it really doesn't.

So I made my one-less-than-than-three-tier cake, thanks to the encouragement of The Mister, and words from a nine year old that brought me back to reality.

The lesson learned in the making was bigger than I anticipated.

And yet, it was still the same old lesson: The outward appearance is often not what it seems. 

Why am I telling you this?

Because its important.

When eighteen people on the blog, and many others who saw the cake in-real-life, comment on how amazing it is, and how "crafty" you are, and compare you to the likes of Martha Stewart (even in jest), I want you to know the truth.

I struggle.

This weekend it was about cake, but often its more than cake. Its about life. From body image to child rearing, and all things in between, I struggle.

I want you to believe that my life looks as rosy as this cake... I want you to think I have all my ducks in a row. That I am "good" in all I do!

But reality doesn't often look the way I think it should look, or the way I want it to look, and sometimes I don't handle it well. Even when the outside looks all-right, the inside might be all wonky.  It might be sinking under the weight of a fruitless chase for "perfection."

I often need Truth tellers in my life.

I know you need that too.

I brought that wonky third-layer to the shower, and put it in the fridge, in case we needed more cake to serve.

No one ever saw it, but I knew it was there. A sweet reminder that I might be able to hide my imperfect ways, but if I throw them out, I'll never learn to overcome the things that hinder me...

~Kellie

PS: I read this post last week, which came to my mind while writing this post.

PPS: To The Mister...Thank you for being a Truth teller. You have sat with me at many "tables" in our life, and helped me sort through things much bigger than cake. Things much more difficult, and much more important....and yet, you offer truth all the same. I appreciate you. xoxox

What I Have Learned This Week: Pride and Pruning

For those of you that are new here, this summer I had the privilege of meeting Constance (of FindingBalance) and Travis, co-founders of True Campaign. A ministry that is dear to my heart. A ministry I hope to be more active in when God says the time is right...

Constance emailed me last week to check in and I was finally able to acknowledge, and put into words, exactly what has been swirling in my heart for the last seven months. 

The short story is that I have finally come to peace about the humble ministry to which I have been called. 

For the longer version, here is part of the email I wrote to Constance...it's what I've learned this week:

I have been praying for awhile about what ministry God was leading me to. He has blessed me with many talents: I can (and have) lead small groups, taught bible studies, mentored in areas that I have experience, and led worship.  I loved all of it. However, they are all gifts that bring attention to myself. Most of them all have to do with performing (in one way or the other)...and stroking my ego just a bit. I was approaching them with the idea of helping others, but also with the kickback of "being noticed" in mind.

 

So you can imagine my surprise, when after praying for many, many weeks about my role in ministry, I was surprised that His answer was consistently-- "Your family."  

 

I really think that the Lord is using this time to burn away the chaff.  To break the pride that motivates me to use the gifts he has given to promote myself. 

 

He had to intervene, and teach me how to get out of the way of myself. 

 

There has been nothing more humbling for me than homeschooling (probably because there wasn't anyone more judgmental in the past about home-schoolers than I was!) 

 

There isn't anyone around telling me what a great teacher I am. No one to stroke my ego and let me know I am doing a good job. I am daily having to lay down my wants and desires to serve my family.  My time is not my own, I cannot go to the gym everyday, nor have lunch with girlfriends whenever I want. My days are no longer solely in my control!

 

On top of that, I am an extrovert with deep insecurities. I have hidden those insecurities with a people-pleaser- I- can-do- it -all- attitude for so long, I didn't realize how it controlled me. I am always so afraid of what people think of me, that I let it rule my days.  I find myself battling my own presuppositions regarding home-schoolers, not many of which are true.  But I digress...

 

The most difficult part was God was telling me to "wait". Not just for your ministry, but even the Women's MInistry that I led here four years ago.  He has put the reigns on me like never before, and its hard. But its good.

 

I am learning that I depend far too much on my God-given talents than I do on God. I depend on the kudos and praises of  "man" instead of the love of God. I am learning that the bright lights of center stage aren't as rewarding as the humble position of being the doorkeeper...but I haven't learned that the easy way....I am stubborn, and my ego and flesh have been well fed for many, many years...

 

I should have contacted you sooner. But i just kept hoping God would let me know that I had learned what I needed to learn, and give me the thumbs-up to tell you that I could jump in with both feet. 

I was so CERTAIN it was the right time, because God had so finely tuned our meeting, and the meeting with Travis, and the eight weeks of writing the True Campaign stuff on the blog....and the response and conversation that all those things had sparked (and continues to spark) with people on the net and in real life. I just knew my day had come! 

 

And it has...it just looks a lot different than I thought it would. 

As difficult as yielding myself to the Lord has been, I am finally feeling peace about where God has me.

Learning this lesson still has a bit of a sting to it. Dealing with pride is never painless...but the fruits of pruning are beginning to feel worth it...

I know that there will be a day when I can be more active in FindingBalance and the True Campaign. I look forward to that day. Until then, I am content.

To see what other bloggers have learned head on over to Musings of a Housewife.

True-ism: Thankfulness - 1 Chronicles 16:34

1 Chronicles 16:34

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;

His love endures forever.

True-ism:

Thank you Father for my eyes that see, my ears that hear, my legs that dance, my arms that hug, and my heart that beats for you!

~~~~~

OK True Campaigners, today wraps up eight full weeks of focusing on the Truth! Thank you for reading my thoughts each week. The True Campaign and the True-ism's are a starting point for re-directing the way we think about who we truly are!

These last eight weeks have been such a labor of love for me. It has been difficult to write these deeply personal thoughts and put them out in such a visible forum. And yet, writing these thoughts out has been a great way for me to work out issues that are still such a big part of my life. 

My hope was to influence those who read my blog to seek Truth, but God knew that these issues are still ones I desperately needed to work on. Although I am leaps and bounds away from sickly behavior and unhealthy trends, I still must constantly be aware of the "snare that traps" (Josh 23:13) I wish I could tell you in detail the things the Lord has taught me through these True-isms. But there isn't enough time, and some things are best left unsaid.

However, no one needed these last eight weeks of True-isms more than me. 

God has so graciously made up for the years the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25), and not just due to the body issues, but also with other issues in my life.  These truths makes me ultra-aware that I am nothing, if not dependent on God and who He says I am! His love truly endures for ever! 

I am thankful that I am healthy and well; That I have a body that is strong; That I can exercise and enjoy fitness without being obsessive. 

I am thankful that I can go to dinner with friends and family without being consumed with what I will order, and whether or not that will change the numbers on the scale.

I am thankful that those "number" do not govern my thoughts and days anymore.

I am thankful that I have a husband who loves me unconditionally; has endured being late because I couldn't decide what to wear, and has lovingly and consistently redirected my thoughts when confronted with the "Do I look fat in this outfit" question.  

I am thankful that I can truly live life, when I am focused on God and His truth! And, finally I am thankful that God has made it that I must remain humble and dependent upon Him, lest I find myself back in that eating disordered trap. 

Although this ends the weekly posts on True-ism, I am certain this isn't the last time you will hear about True Campaign on this blog. I have a few things in mind that I will post in the weeks and months ahead, including a post scheduled for sometime in October from The Mister's perspective, because eating issues are not private matters, they greatly interrupt the lives of those we are closest to as well.

I would love to hear from you. Did you sign up for the True Campaign even though you weren't sure you wanted to? Do you have any questions? Have the True-isms brought you to a place where you are seeing God's truth more than ever? What are you giving thanks for? 

La Vida Dulce!

True-ism: Fear and Wonder - Psalm 139:14

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

True-ism: 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. So stop being so fearful and express some wonder at how incredible God made you.

~~~~~~~

 

  

This is a quilt I just finished for a new baby named Alexandra.

She was actually born in the spring but because of scheduled projects and time constraints I procrastinated.

Actually, I had an idea in my head as to what I wanted to do for little Alexandra, but fear stopped me. I had all the material (scraps from previous projects), but the idea of an actual quilt held me back. What if the final project doesn't turn out the way it appears in my head? What if I can't get all those little squares to line up perfectly? What if...?

I think that it was God's providence that I was to create this quilt this week as I contemplated Fear and Wonder and Psalm 139:14. 

I thought about how easy it is to have fear and wonder around the event that is childbearing and babies. Just getting pregnant is an act of God! The whole reproductive process that takes place within the womb is wonderfully and fearfully creative! 

After nine months a sweet child is born. This child is the very face of hope! Who will she be? What will she do? Her future is wide open. 

New beginnings always fill us with optimism.

So it goes with fear and wonder while experiencing new life. We can easily look at others and see the work of God.

The thing is that God's creative wonders don't stop after we are born. They continue. 

He created us each uniquely.

I was thinking about this as I read about Michael Phelps this week. His body is perfectly fashioned for moving through the water, and yet not everything has been "perfect". Having been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, his single mother sought to find a way to burn off the extra energy that flowed through his body.

God obviously knew what He was doing when he created the world's greatest swimmer in history thus far.  What our culture might consider a "disability" or a "problem", has actually served a greater purpose.  

God's creative fear and wonder is not just reserved for world-class Olympians, but is also at work in you. In me. 

All God's works are wonderful.

This week as I was sewing I began to experience the joy that comes from creating. As the 5x5 pieces of scraps began to look like the quilt I'd envisioned, I began to get excited. I was able to get a microscopic glimpse of what God must feel when He creates something so much more important: human life.

In light of all these thoughts, I began to think about ways in which I allow my fear to stifle who I am; how I allow too much focus on things that I don't enjoy about myself become roadblocks to the praise God deserves for making me unique. I often allow thoughts of self to get in the way of what God has created me to be and to do.

I can be just as excited about the things that make me who I am today, as I am about the hope and promise I see when I look in the eyes of a baby. 

~~~~~

If you are following along in the True Campaign I would love to hear what God has taught you on the subject of Fear and Wonder. 

For those of you who are new to the blog, especially those who may have found this blog through the True Campaign I would love you to hear from you.

And as always, for those who are lurking (and I don't mind that you are!), but have wanted to be a part of the True Campaign I encourage you to go sign up for the True updates.

La Vida Dulce!

Buttons, Buddies, and Backpacking

Happy Friday!

First, I was happy to receive an email from Travis Stewart, the co-founder of the True Campaign. Last month when I met with him and Constance I had mentioned that I would love a True Campaign button to go on my side bar.  

Not only did he make one, he made two! I think they are beautiful. 

If you are a True Campaigner and you would like to use these on your blog, you are welcome to download them. 

Also, if you haven't signed up to be a part of the True Campaign I'd encourage you to do so. Signing up gives The True Campaign Team the opportunity to occasionally send you updates on what's going on and where things are headed in the future! It's going to be exciting so come on and join us! 

Second, I am so happy that this week is over! This was the  l-o-n-g-e-s-t  w-e-e-k because The Mister has been on an eight day backpacking trip to Snowmass Peak in Colorado. 

He needed this trip in the worst way. Work has been stressful for quite some time and he enjoys putting a whole weeks worth of food, water and clothing on his back and walking uphill. He calls it "getting perspective". I'm thinking I could find other ways to "get perspective" but I love him just the same. 

I don't think it is quite possible to have missed him more than I have missed him this week. As a matter of fact on Wednesday I prayed all day long for God's protection over him. 

Ever since I read the stories about the guy who got pinned under a boulder and had to cut off his own arm, (and this guy who was pinned by a boulder and lost his life) it's been difficult to keep my thoughts and fears under control when The Mister goes on these trips. The Lord must get some good chuckles over me sometimes; Obsessively  consistently praying that boulders or bears won't get my man. I hadn't heard from him in almost a week, which I knew would happen, but in the middle of the nights (and into the day!) I would worry.

God was merciful to me and opened up the cell coverage so The Mister had five seconds of good cell phone reception on top of that mountain this morning. Most times cell phones don't work in the areas The Mister hikes; not to mention taking a phone defeats the purpose of going into the wild. He called and let me know that all is well, and that he hadn't been eaten by a bear, and that he still has both arms. 

Of course I was volunteering at the school so I missed the phone call, but hearing his strong and familiar voice over the machine was enough to assuage my fears. He sounded good, for a man who has just hiked 40 miles of mountain. He sounded like he has grown quite a beard, needs a good shower, and can't wait to get home to see his family.  ;)

Hurry home honey! We can't wait to see you. Oh, and stay clear of boulders.

As a last hurrah before The Mister returns, my buddies are coming over for dinner. It will be an Olympic theme as we dine on foods from across the world: Eggrolls (representing China), Taquitos (representing Mexico), Stuffed mushrooms (representing Italy), and chocolate (representing Belgium).

It's the four basic food groups. The dinner of champions!

La Vida Dulce!

True-ism: Comparison (Part 2)

This week we have been looking at Romans 12: 2, 5 & 6.

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out.

So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

The True-ism for this week is: 

When I compare myself with others, I engage 

in a game that has no winners. God, help me 

remember that what matters most is that you 

love me, just as I am.

As you all know, I took a blogging break this week. It was an awesome week because I had the opportunity to spend time with my kids, but also with people I really enjoy. 

There were also moments when I could really be quiet...when I could think.

And listen.

I asked the Lord: How do I make comparisons that tear myself (and others) down, instead of build up?

What the Lord kept bringing to my mind was the time I led worship for Ladies Bible Study in North Texas.  

We went to a very large church. At that time the Women in the Word ministry had at least 250-300 women every Thursday morning for bible study. Through a series of events I ended up on the worship team. 

Eventually the leader of our team stepped down to become a first time mom to three children she adopted internationally. Around that same time the gal who had played the guitar left too (Hi CWD!) and I was appointed leader.

I had had a lot of musical experience in my life but I knew that I wasn't exactly "qualified" to be a worship leader. At the time I didn't play the guitar and I had little knowledge of what it took to lead worship for such a large group of women. 

If ever there was a time to compare, this was it. 

However, I was way too busy trying to figure out what I was going to do...so I prayed.

God sent us an amazing piano player (we'll call her J), who not only could play in all styles, but was familiar with all types of music, both contemporary and traditional. She also had a degree in music and played at least four different instruments, so she was able to teach me things I needed to know.

God also sent J's friend, E, who was an amazing bass player. She would come in and quietly play. She was fun and friendly and laid back. She lent a calm to the group.

Then there was our other E, who sang harmony to my melody (and occasionally played guitar.) Apart we were both decent singers, but together, we were amazing (if I do say so myself!)

After a while I began to dream of finding a girl drummer. God then sent EW to our Girl Band. EW would come to practice and I would say, "I want this song to have percussion, but since I can't even sing and clap my hands at the same time, you're pretty much on your own." She would look at me and say, "OK" and she would make up these rhythms that were awesome!

Together, the five of us were amazing. There wasn't a Thursday that someone didn't comment on how they loved the worship portion of bible study. 

Now that I have boldly boasted about our team...I am not being modest when I tell you that it wasn't because of my vast worship-leading skills that made us the team we were. It was because God had a plan. 

By now you may be asking yourself what any of this has to do with comparison? 

The truth in this situation was that I knew that I had no control. I knew that I could not play piano. I knew that I could not play bass. As a melody-singing soprano I could not sing those rich alto harmonies, and I certainly could not play the drums! 

I love the Roman passage above, especially the last sentence: 

...let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

You know, in this situation it would have been easy to look at the talents I didn't have as "defects", or problems that kept me from being a One Woman Show. 

For example, I could have come in and sat down at that piano and asked God why, (after taking three years of first year piano and literally making my piano teacher cry), I never learned to play? 

I could have sat at that drum set and crossed my arms in ungrateful willfulness that I had not been given the gift of rhythm. 

I could have cried out to the heavens that it was unfair that I could not sing harmonies and melodies at the same time! 

I could have held a grudge that I couldn't carry a strong, solid bass for every situation in my life.

I could have (and in other areas of my life I most certainly have!)...but I didn't, because I knew that these were not things that I could fix. 

I knew that these gifts and talents were not something I could muster up, paint on, or fit into. 

I knew this situation was way out of my control.

I had no choice but to "go ahead and be what I was made to be". In this particular situation I was to be a soprano with some leadership skills. 

God took care of the rest.

This week I was reading a devotional I was given a long time ago called "Let Go" by Fenelon. 

It's a series of forty spiritual letters.

The title of Letter 13 was so very appropriate for me this week: 

Despair  at Our Imperfections Is A

Greater Obstacle Than the

Imperfection Itself

Amen!?!!

Here is the gist of Fenelon's letter:

"...when we concentrate on our defects, forgetting that Jesus loves us, we become restless, the presence of God is interrupted, and the flow of God's love is hindered. The humiliation we feel about our own defects can often be a greater fault than the original defect itself if it keeps you from moving into the realization of God's love."

Last week I mentioned that Comparisons happen in every area of our lives. Never was this more true for me than when my focus was on my physical appearance. I couldn't walk into a room without wondering what I looked like; without comparing myself to those who were in the room with me. I couldn't have a normal conversation with someone because I was too busy thinking about myself.

Comparison is the quickest road to failure. It's a forked path. One way leads to Discontent. The other leads to sister-cities: Never Starting or Quitting. 

Both roads lead to Nowhere.

My challenge for you (as you continue to think on Comparison) is to focus on those things in life that God has given you, and also to become more aware of how God uses those "defects" by allowing others in your life and ministry to compliment you. 

Allowing God to use your gifts and talents alongside someone else's gifts and talents is a blessing, if we can get our heads out of ourselves. 

I pray that you can identify area's in your life that you use comparison as a motivation to change into something your weren't created to be, and instead ask God to motivate you towards His plan for your life! I pray that you will not "let yourself get taken up with the lesser of the two!" (Fenelon)

~Kellie

***I would love to know what your thoughts are on comparison! If you choose to write please sign up under Mr Linky! Also, in this next week we are focusing on Criticism and Phil. 4:8. Join us!