Friday, July 21, 2006

A Letter From The Dog

Dear Blog Readers;

I don't have much time, as Kellie and her pups are all doing a special photography project right now, but I am distraught so I sneaked into a room I, of all things, am not allowed to be in and logged into her blog. My hope is that you might be able to help me.

Today I had a haircut.

Obviously my very sweet Master as never heard of a professional groomer.

I was having a lazy morning after my walk. Just laying on my cozy blue bed, when all of a sudden I was hauled out to the driveway given a wretched hair cut and then, to make matters worse, a bath!

To say that I have been butchered is to be very nice. It actually looks like I have the mange. I had visions of the scene in " Mommy Dearest" where the little girl pup gets all her blond hair lopped off...Only I must say my Master was very gentle. Only it probably would have been better if she had just beaten me. At least I would still have my beautiful shiny coat.

The funny thing is while she haphazardly clipped away she kept telling me how much cooler I would be without all that hair...But then under her breath I thought I heard her say something about the ridiculous amount of hair that is floating around her house. I'm a dog...I can't help that my beautiful mane is thick and vivacious. Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful.

Please, if you love animals or have a shred of humanity, do not allow my sweet and very generous Master to get near me with scissors again. Remind her that although she cuts her sons hair and waxes her very own eyebrows, that she cannot, under any circumstances, add dog grooming to her list of talents.

Tell her to stick to making stuffed bunnies and playing the guitar.

My master's oldest pup took some pictures of me today and I am unable to post all of them now because of time constraints...Oh, and also the shame is almost more than I can bare. I have included the one above so that you can see how miserable I am. I am trying very hard not to mope...But I have had a bad haircut. Even my Master should understand that.

I am still very loyal to her though as evident in the last picture. Although there is a bit of revenge in the submission of this photo...She isn't wearing make-up and she hates to be kissed on the face.

Thank you kindly,