Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A Bird That Flies But Doesn't Sing

or Yikes! Here Comes a Rant!

So, this morning I am driving on the highway on the way home from taking my son to the dentist. As it goes, the dentist is my son's least favorite place on the planet. I do believe he would rather be whipped (and have bad teeth) than to go to the dentist, but this morning it was imperative that he finish out a root canal that he had started three months ago. I, also, would rather be anywhere else than in those hours before taking my sweet first child to the dentist. Truth be told it's hard on everybody and we all get anxious.

I tell you this only to elucidate my frame of mind this morning. I had a weepy son who is fearful of the dentist. So he would vacillate between wanting to be hugged and encouraged, to giving me the evil eye and treating me with contempt for passing on my "bad teeth" gene.

I thought for sure this morning would go a bit better than yesterday.

Yesterday I tried very hard to ignore the fact that The Girl pointed out not one but three whiskers growing on my chin. While I had the tweezers out I decided I might as well clean up the eyebrows a bit...And to my delight I found in the middle of my right brow a...Are you sitting down?...Grey hair.

This, of course, did not make my morning, but I thought that I might add insult to injury, so I pulled out my scale. I knew that I had had a lot of culinary fun in Arizona but I guess I didn't really realize how much...6 pounds worth. Too many tasty tortillas and pool side popsicles and not enough actual swimming.

I was hoping this morning would go a bit more my way...But I was crazy to think that a morning starting with an Endodontist is actually worse than spending a morning trying to figure out how to save enough hair dye each month to cover eyebrows and deciding that those extra pounds are probably just added weight from the new beard I'm growing.

The dentist is much, much worse; for both my son...and my pocketbook.

Ok...so back to the highway on the trip home from the dentist...I have a boy in the back who is still not happy and now is noxiously numb. His sister, although worried for her brother is more concerned we will not make our 10:30 pool date and is talking a mile a minute in an attempt to cheer him up. And my cell phone is dying and beeping like crazy but has fallen to the floorboard and I can't reach it to make it stop.

I merge to the highway exit where people are supposed to yield to me and this red car pulling a trailer comes barreling toward me. He sees me and I am unable to slow down because I have traffic behind me. He is smoking a cigarette in one hand AND talking on the phone with the other all while his radio is blaring. He nearly broad sides me. I speed up so that he doesn't hit me and I give him a look that says "HELLO?".

To which he very angrily flips me the bird....As if I am the offending party.


Perhaps tomorrow will start off better...I am sleeping in.


Anonymous said...

Getting old sure stinks! And that's coming from someone on the down side of her 30's!! But still no grays for me! Ha ha!!! Glad to hear that I am not the only one who put on a few "vacation" pounds - I was hoping that I was just still carrying around some of that Florida sand that was stuck in my swimsuit all week! Love ya!

Lara said...

Just reading this post made my blood pressure go up! I HAVE to quite being so empathatic!

Anonymous said...

Ok the reason I call you and talk on the phone while I am driving is because I can't smoke, talk on the phone and drive at the same time. Not enough hands. All I can say is that this guy is really talented if he can do all that and flip ya the bird. Well then again he did about run ya off the road.

Bec said...

No gray here and I in the next decade!!!!!! However I do have those vacation pounds and if you add the number of years older I am than you (and look at the scale) you can see that I have had more vacations.