Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Living Life: 140 Character or Less


Do you Twitter? If you don't, I'll need to explain. 

Twitter is a fun social media platform that is kind of like blogging. Only you don't get an unlimited space to flesh out your thoughts. 

You get 140 characters. 

You'd be amazed at how much I can say in 140 characters. 

Or maybe you'd be surprised at how much nothing I can say...

This post isn't about blogging, or Tweeting. It isn't a slam on those who do. (Cuz i love my Tweeps, oh yes i do!)

It's about my heart and mind. So here i go...

I was reading yesterday, and realized that I am restless

I cannot think. 

I cannot write. 

Cannot speak for all the bits and pieces running through my head.

Trying to pray, I realized that my life has become completely fragmented.  

My life is a series of jumping thoughts and sporadic conversations. 

My days a chain of incomplete answers. Incomplete understanding. 

Its been half a conversation here, an undeveloped idea there.  

It's been forgetting what I am going to say while in the middle of a sentence. Not just in writing, but while I am actually speaking.

Its more than the unquenchable desire to say more. Its the hunger- the very need- to expand my thoughts to a greater space; To be able to finish a project, a book, a discussion. 

I don't want be blind when the light shines all around me.

It occurred to me that in the feelings and emotions of such a full year (which included job changes, cross-country moves, new schooling, etc.) I have attempted to to live a full and wonderful life...in 140 characters. 

There is no part of my life that isn't affected. 

This fast-paced, cram-it-all-in, mentality is invading my life in places where there is no room for emptiness.

There is depth, and breadth, and height to be filled. 

I must make the time to fill it. 

This summer I hope to gather perspective. 

To stop rushing to conversation just to hear myself speak. 

I want to be renewed.

A Disciple's Renewal


O My Saviour, 

Help me. 
I am so slow to learn,
so prone to forget,
so weak to climb;

I am in the foothills when I should be
on the heights;
I am pained by my graceless heart,
my prayerless days,
my poverty of love,
my sloth in the heavenly race,
my sullied conscience,
my wasted hours,
my unspent opportunities.

I am blind when light shines around me:
take the scales from my eyes,
grind to dust the evil heart of unbelief.

Make it my chiefest joy to study thee,
meditate on thee,
gaze on thee,
sit like Mary at they feet,
lean like John on thy breast,
appeal like Peter to thy love,
count like Paul all things dung.

Give me increase and progress in grace
so that there may be
more decision in my character,
more vigour in my life,
more fervour in my zeal.

As I have a position in the world, 
keep me from making the world my position;

May I never seek in the creature
what can only be found in the Creator; 
Let not faith cease from seeking thee
until it vanishes into sight.

Ride forth in me, thou King of kings
and Lord of lords,
that I may live victoriously,
and in victory attain my end.

(Valley of Vision: 
Puritan Prayers and Devotions)


14 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I feel the same way. Compartments, jumping thoughts, incomplete conversations. The whole bit.

Love the prayer.

Jewel said...

I keep thinking I need to pick up a copy of the Puritan Prayers and Devotions you keep referring to. They are beautiful and inspirational.

I hear ya. I feel like that with small kids and it's frustrating because I am naturally a deep thinker and when conversations and such are shallow I go quickly to the conclusion that I'm better off in my safe zone (my home) with my safe person (myself). I love the line about seeing the light. YES!

Mary @ Simple Things said...

I almost cried reading this. I've been so scattered for about 2 years now that I can't concentrate on anything whether at home or work. I get nothing accomplished as I jump from thing to thing. I've actually considered seeing a doctor because I thought there might be something wrong with me. It's miserable living life in bits and bytes. I feel like I'm going to wake up one day to find that 20 years have passed and I missed them. That I won't have done anything with my life.

This prayer is beautiful. I'm going to print it out and put it on my desk.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one!

Carpoolqueen said...

Alternative title: Stop and smell the roses.

jen said...

I seriously wish that I had written this on my blog. This is exactly why I haven't been writing as much lately - trying to find some cohesiveness.

Gretchen said...

I pray that we are all renewed this summer. Even if a lot of what we do doesn't really change, the season of slowing down, being playful, and spending time with folks in a more relaxed atmosphere is good for the soul.

I need to be very cautious, for I am very nearing the red zone when it comes to my "social networking". I, too, lurve it. It fills a definite void of community and friendship. And it's FUN! But if I don't pray for wisdom and self control (and actually heed them both), I'll be a mess of 140 characters and no substance.

So, I feel ya, Kellie.

Lurve the poem.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I HEAR YA!

Feeling some of this myself.

Ready for summer so I can slow down and feel a bit more focused.

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

Amen!

Thank you for putting eloquent words to my incoherent thoughts!

snoodlings.com said...

Oh, wow. How'd you get inside my head?

I hear you. Do I ever hear you.

Thanks for taking the time to put these words together so very coherently.

And thanks for that prayer. Goodness.

Amber said...

Exactly what has been bouncing around in my head.

Praying summer will bring refreshment. And renewal. And a refocusing on all the important things. For all of us.

JanMary said...

I think you are speaking on behalf of lots of us here.

Thanks :)

Tanya said...

Have you read "Breathe" by Keri Wyatt Kent? I've (SLOWLY) been working my way through it. It's a great book about just what you've written here, about learning to breathe in all that God has for us, about sacrificing busyness for greatness.

I told my husband the other day that our society has worked so hard to teach us all to multi-task that now none of us rememeber the greater efficiency, productivity and serenity of single-tasking. What's worse: even if we remember the value of focusing on just one thing at a time, we've forgotten HOW to do it.

I'm praying for you today.

KelliGirl said...

I think as moms and wives we already live fragment, multi-tasking lives. Add to that the ADD nature of blogging, Facebook and now Twitter, it's no wonder we have trouble holding a thought. I wonder at what point do our brains just freeze up and say, "Stop!"

Thanks for the thoughts and the prayer.

meh said...

It isn't just you. I think in varying ways, that is exactly where many of us find ourselves...when we take the time to see it, feel it, acknowledge it. The puritan surrounded in her simple lifestyle pouring out that prayer from the depths of her heart so many years ago...even she knew that feeling. Thanks for sharing!

P.S. I have got to dig that book out of my stacks!