The Summer of the Reptile

I had to rob Peter to pay Paul so I could post today.

My wireless keyboard wouldn't type and I desperately needed two AAA batteries. So I robbed the TV remote to pay the keyboard.

But this is not what I've come to tell you today.

I've come to talk to you about reptiles (and maybe an amphibian or two)...

The summer is a plethora of slithery animals here in the piney woods of North Carolina, and I wouldn't mind them so much if they didn't seem so intent on invading my life. Of course, some would argue that it is I that have invaded upon the space of the fork-tongued reptilians, but I say tom-ay-to/to-mah-to...who pays the mortgage on this acre in the woods?

You may have guessed that I am not a fan of things that slither and crawl.

 I have managed to produce not one, but two, offspring that think lizards and snakes are amazing creatures that must be caught.

Case in point:

Meet the Blue-Tailed skinks.

Or the brown lizards.

There was much worry about one of these lizards due to the unfortunate loss of his back leg.

The Girl was particularly concerned and wanted to keep him in a lap of lizard luxury for the loss of his lower leg.

Uh, that would be a negative.

Stumpy's stump had already healed over. He didn't need our TLC. Plus, that bowl they were keeping their tiny treasures caged in is one I really wanted back.

After the lizards we had three visitors on the same afternoon:

A turtle, bigger than a dinner plate, wandered into the street in front of our house. We live two houses down from a pond. At this time of year the turtles come out from hibernation and forget which direction the pond is supposed to be. We took this guy back to the water, and he immediately swam to safety.

We also had frogs:

I don't really mind these critters as much. Don't get me wrong I'm not going to hold them or invite them over for tea, but the kids enjoy catching them and looking at them for awhile.

What I do mind is when a four foot snake is climbing a tree...

 Did you know snakes could climb tree's?

Yeah, me neither.

They can. And they do.

I know these guys are good for the garden. But seriously, I do not like snakes that climb on trees.

I do not like snakes that help in the garden.

I do not like snakes.

Oh, it's gonna be a long summer.

The Flip

I have spent the last few afternoons weaving in and out of nostalgia.

Do you remember these?

Back in the day my brothers and I used to spend quite a bit of time with this machine, pretending to be news anchors reporting crazy news and making various childish noises.

I can vividly remember laying on the golden plush carpet of the formal living room, pushing the rewind button over and over, while listening and laughing with my brothers. Sometimes we laughed so hard I thought my head would split.

Oh, we thought we were the funniest things ever.

Apparently, its hereditary.

Last week The Girl received a Flip Video Camera for her birthday.

She has begged me for a video camera for over a year now.

You can imagine her excitement when her new pink colored camera arrived.

And I?

I am enjoying the laughter she and her brother make as they "make movies" using silly faces and crazy noises, then quickly huddle over the small screen to see what they've made. Laughing heart-fully.

They were making movies outside yesterday and running back into the house every 15 minutes or so to come show me how hysterical their cinematic masterpieces were unfolding...

Truth be told, they're about as funny as the audio tapes my brothers and I made... but the laughter... I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Raising Enablers

One of the things I love about my kids is that they know me.

They really do.

They know that my favorite animal is the giraffe.

They know that I don't really have a favorite color, but if you press me to give you one I'll tell you pink.

They know that I love reading and I look forward to Wednesday Night Date Night with their dad (aka: Wine Wednesdays...I almost always have a glass of wine with dinner on Wednesday.)

They know I enjoy homemade gifts, and that I have this super-love for babies.

They know that the songs Happy Birthday and the Star Spangled Banner will make me cry every. blessed. time.

However, if you asked them what advice you would give someone about me they would say:

"Don't talk to her before the first two cups of coffee."

Sad, but true.

Yesterday, the kids were building Legos while listening to Old Yeller on an audio disk.

When we were done, The Boy came to me and said, I made you something!

Its a state-of-the-art coffee maker that cleans up after itself, with a JUMBO sized coffee cup.

Yes.

They know me.

I love them so....

Mini Van Chronicles: Its a Bugs Life

It is against my better judgement to write this, but in a fit of frustration regarding the condition of the vans interior, I sent the kids outside to clean my car. It was their trash, their water bottles, their crunched up snacks--not to mention their socks, shoes, papers, and clothing. 

I had had enough of cleaning it all by myself.

Imagine my shock (and Dad, today is not the day I would want you to start reading my blog) when The Girl came running into the house with a panic stricken look on her face saying "I promise, I will NEVER eat in the car again! Please don't be mad."

In the time span of about two seconds I had a myriad of possibilities swimming through my head, but when she said, "The Boy found a pile of little white worms eating the crumbs on the floor!" wasn't one of them.

Then, as my mind tried to comprehend the problem at hand, she started a cry that would surely have won her an Oscar. 

Being ever so compassionate, I told her we hadn't any time for hysterics. We have a matinee to get to in just over two hours and I wasn't driving in a Maggot Mobile. 

They had to clean it. And quick. 

So there you have it. I am mean, and the kids are outside frantically vacuuming the car and making it all clean....and bug free. 

About Nothing Much

I am in the middle of cooking a very gourmet lunch: La Vida Dulce's Secret Recipe Chicken Noodle Soup.

The recipe is very fancy, and I don't like to share it because the process is top secret. Nobody has this recipe because its kept in the steel trap within my mind. 

So really, its all but inaccessible on any given day.

However, I am going to share it with you because I love to reward my La Vida Gals (and those two guys that read from time to time) with bits of information that you already thought of yourself.

Just keep it, you know, between you and me, and anybody with access to the world wide web. 

How did the Secret Recipe Chicken Noodle Soup recipe come to be? 

Well, I have two children who love soup. 

Wait! 

Back up the mini-van.

I have two children who love to eat noodles with chicken broth. 

There came a day, years ago, when I opened up a can of that red labeled soup we all grew up on, and it had those all familiar noodles, but it also had unidentifiable chunks floating in it that the kids refused to consume. 

I tried to convince them that those same bits of mystery meat were, in fact, the same ones they eat at McDonalds (sans the deep fried breading and order of fries, of course) but they would not believe me, no matter how much I persuaded.

Those smart people at Campbell's also make a double noodle soup that they claim is plain. Just chicken flavored broth (what is that anyway? Is it chicken broth or not?) and noodles. But my kids were hip on those microscopic bits of crushed up carrots hidden in midst. 

Have you ever tried to pick out carrot bits from a bowl full of noodles? It was like I was there all freaking day just picking, and picking!!!!!!

(deep breath)

Cleary, I take issue.  For heavens sake, I just want to fee my kids some lunch, and then kick them outside.

So this was how the Secret Recipe Chicken Noodle Soup recipe came to be born.

I hope you enjoy it.

The La Vida Dulce, Secret Recipe Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe

5 cups of water (you could go all Fiji or Evian if you want, and make it an international dish, but tap works for me)

4 tsp of Knorr Chicken Bouillon 

1.5 cups cubed chicken breast (In the past I used leftover grilled chicken, but recently on the advice of Mer I have started boiling a bunch of chicken breast once a month and chopping it up, and freezing it in recipe portions.)

Half a package of Spaghetti, broken into 2.75 inch pieces. (This is a very important part. Admittedly, it takes a little time to measure, but each noodle must be exactly two and three-quarters inches to let the flavor of the pasta out.

Just kidding! April Fools! 

Ok, bring water and bouillon to a boil, throw in chicken and spaghetti. If I am also eating soup I will ladle the kids bowls first, then throw in a handful of frozen veggies, because I don't like to eat my afternoon bon bon's until I've had my veggies first.

If you serve it to the kids with a pickle than you can check "served them veggies" off your list and take the next step in your day!

All right, my soup is ready, gotta go!

La Vida Dulce!

Dinner Time Conversation

Last night I made Italian Beef for dinner. My kids always complain that all I ever cook is chicken so, they were in carnivore heaven. 

The Girl, with meat on her fork that's poised in the air says, "Where does this come from?"

"A cow." I reply, forgetting that she is such an animal lover that she often doesn't want to know where her meat comes from.

She stopped her fork in mid-air and I watched as her facial expressions changed from shock, to uncertainty, to acceptance in the span of two seconds.  She quickly said, "It's good!" and we all had a good laugh.

The subject quickly changed, as it tends to go:

The Boy: I love science, but I will never dissect anything.

Me: Dissection isn't so bad. I dissected a frog and a fish in high school, and I actually enjoyed it.

The Girl: Dad dissected a pig!

The Mister: No, actually a pig kidney.

The Boy: I could never do that.

The Mister: Sure you could. Dissection is good, because you can learn all about how things work.

The Boy: What else have you dissected?

The Mister: Hmm... lets see.  I dissected a frog, and a goat...Oh! and a human. (in graduate school)

The Girl: HE  WAS  ALIVE!!!???

Dinner. It's rarely dull.