Coffee Gal Calling Back: Be Intentional

Well, its Friday Monday, and I am getting this post out late because sometimes life catches you by surprise...and deadlines become moot.

Anyway, today is the first installment in the CoffeeGal: Calling Back series.

Its been hard to think about where to start, so let's start at the very beginning.....(Go ahead Tiffany...sing away girl).

I've always been a "romantic" domestic. I have always loved the idea of staying home, raising kids, keeping house. I dreamed of sleeping babies; delicious homemade dinners; obedient children; lovely parties set in a clean, home decorated by Pottery Barn...

However, I couldn’t ever get my ideas and reality to matchup in those early baby years.

This was (is) especially true when I compared myself to others who seemed to live their lives seamlessly. 

There came a point in my life (soon after child #2 was born) when I began to get a hunch that the appearance of having it all together didn't really indicate reality. 

So I began to look around and really observe the women around me who were exceptional homemakers, wives, mothers and friends. After almost a year, I came to an interesting conclusion.

The women I observed were independently different: Some had lots of money, some had none. Some had an eye for decor, some didn’t. Some had amazing organizational skills, others had to work at them. Each were uniquely gifted, but these ladies all had one very important thing in common:

They were all intentional.

Intentional with their time.

Intentional in their relationships.

Intentional with their words.

Intentional with their homes.

Intentional in pursuit of the Lord.

These women were intentional in the way they went about their lives. They had a sense of purpose. In this way it didn't really matter how their homes were decorated, or how yummy the dinner tasted. What mattered is that you left their home feeling like you didn't really want to leave.

It was then that I decided this was the key: Don't be worried about what you don't have but be intentional with what you've got.

So, I looked around at what I had and decided to go from there. We had just purchased our first house, a modest home (with horrendous pink carpet), a sweet little family and a handful of friends and neighbors that I loved. I had used furniture, a small backyard, and heart that was willing. 

With these in hand, I realized that my wants weren't all that sophisticated.

In a chaotic world, I wanted my home to be peaceful. I wanted my home to be a place that my family could relax. A place the The Mister would look forward to coming home to at night.

I wanted those who visited my home to feel like they could come and be at ease; to take their shoes off and have a soft place to land. 

This was where my first steps in being intentional took place.

Running a household and being domestic doesn't come from being particularly gifted, or talented or self-disciplined. It isn’t from having an eye for decor, or a well padded budget. Being hospitable and running a home stems from a desire to be intentional with the things that God has purposed me to do, and with the desires of my heart. 

I couldn’t start CoffeeGal: Calling Back without being clear about my humble beginnings. In part because there are a few of you who read this blog that lived those early years with me...as we stumbled (and sometimes failed) together trying to figure it all out...but i also want to start in this place because living isn’t just about a beautiful home and cute kids. Its about actively, purposefully, intentionally pursuing the desires of my heart. 

Even when sometimes they don’t look exactly how I thought it would...

Being intentional isn’t about getting your way, or forcing your hand. Its all about clearly setting about something you desire to do, or have, or be. 

Being intentional has served me well in more than just housekeeping and hospitality. It has helped as we have moved from place to place; it has helped as I have raised my children; it has been pivotal in communication with that hunk of man I am privileged to call The Mister...My Mister. It has helped in long distant relationships, and most importantly in my pursuit of God.

With that said, next time I will write about how I decided to be intentional with the kids regarding Family Traditions...and how it turned out differently (but better!) than I thought it would.

La Vida Dulce!

A Little Help From My Friends

I have about 2354 things swirling in my head. 

Between the Sally Clarkson conference and the beautiful weekend, I could write volumes. 

I want to share one small thing with you and would like your opinion...

I wish I could explain all of this more clearly, but this is just an idea in my head I am not sure I have clarity anyway, so excuse the vagueness...

I received not one but two different emails this week asking for this: 

I'd love any ideas you have on party planning and hospitality.  I'd love any pointers you have on traditions, family time, children. . the things on which you don't compromise when it comes to parties, events, coffee time with friends.

I'd love your input on not only hospitality and the like--but on raising children, walking with the Lord, decorating my home, sewing--you get the idea

First let me tell you that I am very flattered that my table settings and stories of life are encouraging you, but I feel I am highly unqualified for giving advice on homemaking and hospitality!  Especially since you will probably just die laughing at some of the things I have done. When the gal who wrote the email above to me, I wanted to point her to people who have real blogs about those subjects...bloggers who actually have degrees in those types of things. 

I realized that I do this a lot in all areas of my life:

I am creative, but I am not inventive. if you see me doing something it is almost always something I have seen someone else do. 

I am relational, but I also struggle a great deal with impatience, often turned on by those I love the most!

I am intentional, but I have great insecurities that hinder me in big, big ways. I don't do half the things I want to do!

However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that that juxtaposition between what I can do and what I want to do, is what makes me unique (and yet not unique at all! As I am sure you are all nodding your head!)

These talents, or abilities, are all things I didn't know I had, and figured i'd never learn.

You may be surprised to know that I haven't always been hospitable; or at least what i thought defined being hospitable. I haven't always been intentional. I have always been creative, but the creativeness in me now is vastly different than what it was fifteen years ago, before I was married and had a family. It doesn't come as easily and carefree anymore, I have to work at it. I have to chase it! Sometimes I'm too tired to chase it but...

If I can do it, so can you.

So I am thinking about picking one day a week to Call Back; to write about the things in my life that I have learned to do with the help of mentors, books, friends, tears, scripture, sweat, joy, and the complete grace of God.

I have always hesitated to do this because I don't want to sound preachy, or as if I have all things together all the time. Hearing that from others doesn't motivate me one iota. And it is isn't reality. People who tell you they have it all together all the time either have help or they are lying to you.

So here is where you come in...would you be interested in taking a weekly look into my sometimes-not-so-pretty life and the way I see  and do things (and they often change as soon as I figure them out)? 

If so, what would you want to know? Where do you need encouragement? 

I'm guessing these posts wouldn't be too different than what I already do around here, but I would be more intentional on a weekly basis.

If not, that's Ok too. I can (and happily will) dialogue with these gals individually, but I thought that if the interest was high enough I would share with y'all!

Let me know what you think...