Giving Thanks: Choosing to Think

On this third day of gratitude, I am thankful I quit Twitter.

Although, if I'm honest, I sometimes miss it.

What? You didn't know I quit the Twitters?

It's OK. I didn't tell anyone, and even those close to me didn't realize it until weeks later. I just closed the account, and went about my life.

To be honest, I had struggled for a long time with Twitter, because it greatly impeded my thinking powers (not to mention sucked up time). I felt certain that thinking in 140 characters or less was draining my capacity to think deep thoughts, but I couldn't pin down a good excuse as to why that would be true. So I continued typing short sentences with bad txt tping...only I wsnt LOL'ing. U knw wht I mn?

As a result, all my thoughts were becoming shallow. I began to tweet mundane things that nobody wanted to know. My entire brain-power was about trying to quip one-liners...and y'all know I'm not that funny.

I read Jerusha Clark's book, Every Thought Captive: battling the toxic beliefs that separate us from the life we crave , and was smacked in the head with this quote from the first chapter*:

How we think determines our spiritual, emotional, and sometimes physical health. Elizabeth George notes, "Like a virus, our thoughts have the ability to drain our energy and cripple our usefulness. Our thoughts can, however, also be a source of strength when we dwell on the powerful truths of Scripture."

I got the one-two punch when I read this:

Proverbs 4:23

Be very careful what you think, your thoughts run your life. 

(NCV)

Wow. And yeah...

Truth. Sometimes it comes gently. Sometimes it hits you on the nose.

I realized that Twitter (for me) wasn't just about what I was thinking, but how it made me think of myself and others....sometimes it made me feel prideful, "Wow, what I just tweeted about my pedi-cure was so clever!" and sometimes it made me feel insecure, "Why didn't anybody respond to that great tweet about clipping my toenails?"

I am very hyper-aware about hiding my needy-ness. Let's just be honest, I like to appear like I've got it under control so people will like me. Twitter fed into this already crazy-frenzy, mixed-up, Kellie the CoffeeGal thought life, and I didn't like the down-hill trend.

This quote, also from Chapter One* hit the nail on the head:

Many of our thoughts, unfortunately, are both negative and untrue. At different points in their lives, most women have believed poisonous lies such as these: I'm not good enough. What others believe about me defines who I am. I am the sum of my accomplishments and my relationships [and my tweets**]. We have all believed self-defeating falsities as well, lies that have hijacked and poisoned our minds.

I wish I could tell you that I am the woman who escaped this generalization, but I'm not. My lack of thinking deep and truthful thoughts was "draining my energy and crippling my usefulness," not only on Twitter, but on this blog, in my conversations with real-life people, and in my quiet-times in the morning. 

When my kids were babies a wise women in our church came to my home to speak to my mom's group. She said that when choosing activities for ourselves or our children, we should ask ourselves this question: Will this activity build us (as a family) up? Or tear us down? 

As a mom, friend, and wife my thought life is the doorway to everything I do. If it tears me down, the fall-out has the potential to pull all those things I endeavor to pursue down with it. Twitter wasn't building me up, it was robbing me of my thought life, but what's worse, it wasn't building anyone up in my circle of influence either. 

So, that's why I quit.

I am grateful, for authors like Jerusha Clark, and other writers who share God's wisdom in books that tell the Truth, though its sometimes hard to hear.

And I am grateful, though I do miss the camaraderie of my Tweeps, that I quit typing thinking in 140 characters or less.

* I'd like to give the page numbers, but I read this book electronically, and the pages are wonky.

** my words, added for emphasis.

Its Raining, Its pouring. This Day'll Be Far From Boring

Random Thoughts From Kellie's Brain:

~A big shout out to Darcie and Jeff for making me a special Twitter button (it's on the right. Go on, click it...I know you want to.) I just love how it matches my blog design. I love how it has four, 18* oz cups, all clean and stacked high. It just says "come on over and stay awhile" which is how I want y'all to feel when you come to visit.

(*I don't mess around when it comes to coffee cups. 6-8 oz cups require too much running back and forth to the kitchen)

~Speaking of visiting, I am having a friend over for lunch today. Its rainy and cold, so I am thinking of something I could serve her that is warm and delicious. Oh the possibilities...

~It just occurred to me that I drink 36 oz of coffee every morning. And on cold days, I make another half a pot to keep me warm.  Uh, thats a lot of coffee. 

~Sometimes, when I make that second pot, I do use half decaf.  Just so you know.

~This morning I am not in the best mood. The kids, who have never really done much fighting with each other have started to bicker a bit. This is new for me and it makes me a little insane, and honestly they picked the wrong time of the month to drive me insane.  

~Todays drive to insanity was a quick trip, and I completely threatened them with a spanking for bickering (which I have not done in a very LONG time.) I can't even remember the last time I spanked them...

~Normally, I make it a point not to make empty threats (especially since I would rather go to the dentist than spank them) but this morning it was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

~The truth is I have been blessed with good kids who aren't perfect, but try really hard to be obedient and respectful. They love each other, but they are kids. I just seem to have a very short fuse this morning.

~Maybe I need more coffee. To wash down some Midol.

~Hmm...I had a few other things I wanted to tell you while I had the chance. The kids are doing independent work, so I had ten minutes to post....but I can't remember what I was going to write. 

~Oh well, on a morning like this, saying nothing is probably better anyway!

~All this talk about coffee makes me thirsty. Off to the kitchen...

Happy Wednesday!

This Good Day!

The Mister has been gone for six days. 

I cannot wait for him to get home tonight. 

When he is gone, I cannot sleep. I do not cook. I am generally good for nothing. 

Put I've posted about this before. So I won't repeat myself.

Today is going to be fun. We have one last day of beautiful weather until winter comes back. 

I actually wore capris yesterday. Which reminds me, I shaved. Capris call for drastic measures.

You know, it amazes me how a little warm weather can change my outlook on almost everything. Just when I thought I might go a little crazy with cold weather, it turned around for a bit. The daffodil buds are starting to pop-up and fill my heart with anticipation for spring. 

Hope. 

It's life changing. Isn't it?

I am not the only one excited about The Mister's return. The Girl has been practicing her bike riding skills every afternoon. She asked last night if she could show her daddy how she can ride RIGHT when he gets home. Unfortunately, by the time we get him home from the airport it will be dark, so it will have to wait until Saturday morning. I have tried several times to upload video, but Blogger is being funny...grrr.

The Boy has been able to ride a bike for years, but the bike he is currently riding is The Mister's childhood bike: a Mongoose. When we were living in AZ my father-in-law gave it to The Boy, and he thinks its so cool to be able to ride the bike his Dad rode all over that southern Arizona town.

I've sort bounced all over the place today haven't I...so I'll bounce one more time. I finally caved to peer pressure. I opened a Twitter account: @LaVidaCoffeeGal. I am in the process of getting a new phone. We still have our Texas cell phones from three moves (and six years) ago! But hopefully within the next week or so that will change!

Happy Friday!